Healthy Mindset Miracles
❤️In a world where we often talk about life challenges and the struggles we face, we believe it's equally important to shine a light on the incredible stories of resilience and transformation.
Join us on this inspiring journey as we explore the remarkable stories of individuals who have experienced what we like to call "Healthy Mindset Miracles." 🙌💫
These stories are about people who, against all odds, have achieved incredible turnarounds in their mindset. They're living proof that changes are possible, even when it feels like a miracle. 🌠
In each episode, we'll dive deep into these personal accounts, discovering the factors and strategies that played a role in their transformative journeys. 🧠💪
So, if you're looking for stories that inspire, insights that empower, and a community that supports, subscribe to "Healthy Mindset Miracles" now and be part of this incredible journey. 🎧❤️
Healthy Mindset Miracles
Ep.017 - Gabby's Battle with Burnout: Overcoming Anxiety and Chronic Pain for Mental Wellness
Episode_017
Burnout and anxiety can sneak up on the best of us, even those dedicated to helping others with their mental health. Gabby, a licensed clinical social worker and somatic experiencing practitioner, brings us into her world of struggle and resilience. She narrates her personal battles with chronic pelvic pain and high-stress environments in community mental health, where her perfectionist drive led to burnout. The crucial moment of feeling nothing for a client served as a wake-up call, pushing her to reconsider her path and prioritize her mental and physical well-being.
Navigating the complex maze of chronic pain and anxiety often involves a reliance on medication, and Gabby's story is no exception. Her dependence on medication for sleep and functionality became a cycle she had to break. This episode sheds light on her transition to alternative healing routes, incorporating naturopathic guidance, vitamins, and lifestyle changes such as breath work, meditation, and dietary adjustments. Gabby offers practical tips, like supplementing with magnesium for improved sleep, ensuring that listeners walk away with actionable advice for their wellness journeys.
Women, in particular, face unique challenges when it comes to burnout, whether in the workplace or at home. Gabby empowers women with strategies to manage burnout through affirmations, boundary setting, and flexible work arrangements. She discusses the importance of recognizing burnout beyond professional settings, extending to relationships and parenting. Grounding and somatic practices play a pivotal role in Gabby's approach, teaching the brain and nervous system to feel safe. From meditation techniques to practical grounding exercises, Gabby’s insights provide a roadmap for achieving mental wellness and reclaiming control over one's life.
For more info about Gabby:
https://www.gabbywnekcoaching.com/
Thank you for tuning in to this empowering episode of Healthy Mindset Miracles." We hope you found inspiration and insight into the journey of redefining your mindset.
If you have any questions or would like to share your own experiences, please visit our website:
www.healthymindsetmiracles.com
We welcome your stories and inquiries. If you are interested in being a guest send us a message under contact us in the website.
Stay tuned for more episodes where we continue to explore the path to healing and well-being. Until we meet again, may you discover a healthy mindset in your life. 🌟
Don't forget to like, share, comment and subscribe on our Facebook and YouTube channel.
Thank you for coming to Healthy Mindset Miracles. My name is Tanisha and we have a special guest named Gabby. Gabby is a licensed clinical social worker and a somatic experiencing practitioner with over eight years of clinical experience helping women through burnout, anxiety, depression, stress and trauma. We definitely need to hear this, don't we ladies? So Gabby has a bachelor's in social work and psychology, a master's in social work and her somatic experiencing practitioner certificate for somatic therapy. She has helped over thousands of hundreds probably thousands at this point of women in her clinical practice, changing their relationship with burnout, and teaches practical tools for nervous system healing while continuing to do her own healing work. Gabby has an amazing experience to share with you guys and Gabby. I am so excited to hear this story. Welcome to Healthy Mindset Miracles. We're excited to have you. Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to share my story as well. So let's talk about that story. So you have had your own burnt out experience and anxiety and stuff. What were you doing that caused this burnout?
Speaker 2:I've actually had multiple experiences of burnout throughout my career. I have had anxiety since I was little and it really really manifested during college and then post-college. That's where I really noticed. I was like I am a perfectionist, I'm an overachiever and I am so anxious. I mean I had to get straight A's in college. If I didn't, when I got my first B, I cried. I was like, wow, this is intense.
Speaker 2:And so when I graduated with my master's in social work, I had to do clinical hours to get my license and so I was working in community mental health, which can be difficult because it's clients who have really big mental health diagnoses. There's a lot going on in their lives and you're also new in the field, kind of don't really know what you're doing, right, they throw you in the deep end. They're like there you go, and I'm like, okay, at the time I developed chronic pelvic pain, so like really severe. I really didn't know what was going on with my body at the time and so I'm working with high anxiety, chronic pain and doing group and individual therapy. So I mean it got to the point where I had to take a sabbatical. I found a clinic in California that specializes in chronic pelvic pain and I went there for a week and I realized that I can't with the amount of stress and anxiety and pain I was in. I couldn't continue seeing clients because it was just too much, and so this pattern continued. I had to.
Speaker 2:I took a couple months off and I started back work again and it got too much, and so this pattern continued. I took a couple months off, then I started back work again and it got too intense and then it was just this back and forth that I was doing because my passion is to help people. But I also had a lot going on in my own system, right. So it wasn't until my last job where the burnout became incredible, to the point where I was like I need to change.
Speaker 2:I still had the chronic pain, it was still pretty intense, I was working on it still, but it was still high and I was chasing my company's bonus at the end of the year. So if I made a certain amount of money through my insurance I would get I think it was 5% of whatever I made from the entire year. I was seeing probably 25 to 30 clients a week, which in private practice that's really high. Full-time work therapist is anywhere from 20 to 25. And I've had colleagues who've seen 40, which I don't know how they did. That that's a lot of people's traumas that you're taking on.
Speaker 2:So I remember this was the most pinnacle part of my burnout story is I had a regular client that was sitting in front of me and. I straight looked at the client and thought in my mind I do not care what you're saying right now.
Speaker 1:Oh goodness.
Speaker 2:Just complete apathy towards the client. I was like I don't care, get out of my office. Like I just could care less what you're saying right now. In that moment it was just shock. I've never had that thought run through my mind when I saw a client ever and I went Gabby, you are not, you cannot be in the room right now. This is dangerous at this point. Like this is not okay. You need to go home, right. And I went to my supervisor and I was like I cancel the rest of my clients for the day. I need to go home. And I did take a couple of days off.
Speaker 1:You needed your own mental for the day. I need to go home and I did take a couple of days off you needed your own mental health saving day.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly, I totally can. I absolutely 100% can relate to that, because a lot of times we take on so much that we forget to take care of our own needs and our own mindset and our own mental health. And when you're dealing with people like you are, when you're dealing with other people's problems, situations and challenges and you're probably an empath like me you're absorbing their feelings, their thoughts. You're absorbing everything that's going on because you're feeling what they're going through Exactly, and then we become physically ill. We physically, mentally, take that on and become physically ill ourselves and I feel like that's exactly what you went through.
Speaker 1:Explain to me, like, when you were having those anxiety moments, what did that feel like to you? Because anxiety can be in so many different ways in so many different ways.
Speaker 2:What did it feel like to you? Yeah, in general, my anxiety was I was just tight all the time everywhere my jaw, my shoulders, obviously, my pelvis due to the pelvic pain. Like I was just tight, I was overwhelmed, I was anxious, I was worrying all the time. Like it just felt like I was like this tight ball of like anxiousness, this worry, this like nervousness, like constantly feeling on edge. That was really like the anxiety and then the burnout was just this feeling of overwhelm. This, my overachiever was in my mind being like you have to do this right, you have to take care of all these people, you need to make money because, eventually, you want to move out. But it was just this pressure you have to perform, you have to take care of all these people.
Speaker 1:So when you went home that day and because you knew at that moment you hit your breaking point. Yes, so when you went home, what did you do to start to heal yourself?
Speaker 2:In that day it wasn't really that day that I really started to do a lot of healing work. It took months for me to get to a point where I said I can't do this anymore. So the cycle kind of continued for a couple of months of really high anxiety, burnout and having the chronic pain, to the point where I was coming home every night with eight, nine, 10 level of pain and the only thing that helped in that moment was taking a Klonopin every night, because that was the only thing that would make me sleep.
Speaker 1:So that would actually release that tension in your body.
Speaker 2:Right, and the only way I knew how was to take a drug that helped me sleep so that I can get back to work the next day.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and so that cycle continued for months until I got to a point where I was like what am I doing to myself? Like I am sacrificing my own mental and physical health for a job. I'm like I can't keep doing this.
Speaker 1:Well, you thought that you were helping other people because that's what your passion was is to help other people with their problems. Because you were so new to it, you were unaware of what it would do to yourself, so you didn't protect your body before you went into that. I mean, I did the same thing, so I know exactly what you're feeling and I literally had to take some time away and I had to literally cancel all of my appointments and redirect my mind, go for walks, like literally take some several days to just relax. Because I don't do medication. I used to take Celexa and Klonopin.
Speaker 1:I did for two years straight, but I felt like a zombie the entire time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it completely shifts the way your nervous system work and your brain works. Like it shuts down certain parts of your brain and you're just not the same person when you're on those medications. No, and you become moody, oh my gosh, even more so than like the anxiety that's already there.
Speaker 1:Exactly Like. I remember being so meaty, like I hated everything and everyone and I just I didn't like being that way because I knew that wasn't me, and so I I fortunately my, without my doctor's consent, I took myself completely off of it and you go through withdrawals and challenges in your in that period of time when you're trying to get off of it.
Speaker 2:But, I.
Speaker 1:I went through, I found a naturopathic doctor. I had told her look, I don't want to feel this way anymore and I don't want to take drugs. I don't want to feel like a zombie, I still want to function like a normal person. What can I do to be normal again or describe normal, but seriously be myself again, and to me because that's normal to me as being yourself you know your true self. And so she had told me about a vitamin which called C-O-P-E COPE Zembiodome, I think, is the name of the company.
Speaker 1:It's through a lab and it's kind of expensive. It's about 50 something dollars for a month's supply, but I can take one bottle of. It would probably last me three, four months because I don't take it every day. When I first started I did take it every day. I took one one a day every day and it helped so much because what it is and something I learned is it's got B vitamins and saffron in it, and saffron is what Indians use to help induce their mood and make their mood better. And I had learned that I had a vitamin B deficiency and I didn't know that and that's what was causing a lot of my challenges. Did you through your practice? Did you experiencing finding natural health and getting off that medication as well, dr Anneke?
Speaker 2:Vandenbroek, I also had to come off of it kind of slowly, right. I spoke to my doctor and I said, after working with a new coach specifically for the pelvic pain and doing some exposure therapy with myself after those because when you heal chronic pain, you get what's called extinction burst. So the pain gets really high because your brain is basically saying, oh, she understands what's going on here, let's give her really high pain to like really get her attention. And so you have to go through what's called extinction bursts. And after those happened a lot and I quit my job and moved on.
Speaker 2:From that I made a decision of also getting off of the Klonopin as well. I was like I no longer want to be on this medication because I have taken time away from work enough to really focus on breath work and meditation and, like you said, going on walks and doing some exposure work and having self-compassion for myself and really sitting with my anxiety and sitting with my pain and really being like hi, I'm here, what do you need to show me, what do I need to show me, what do you, what do I need to learn and heal from? And by doing that it allowed my brain to soften and my nervous system to soften Right and then going off of it slowly. I mean, I still have it for kind of emergency, more of like psychological safety at that point, like just in case, but I really don't take it anymore and so kind of supplementing with going outside and getting sunlight, taking vitamin D, taking things for my immune health, really starting to eat healthy and getting rid of processed foods and eating colorful foods.
Speaker 2:And for me what's been really helpful is magnesium. Yes, because so many I think 90 some percent of the population is deficient in magnesium, so I take that every single night. There's a really good brand called BioOptimizers. It has all seven forms of magnesium in it. So it's all you can, all the forms in one and you take two. I take two of them, two capsules, so that has been pivotal.
Speaker 1:Where do you get that?
Speaker 2:from.
Speaker 1:I get it at my local health food store, but I'm sure you can order it on their website as well, we'll have to get more information on that for our listeners and we'll put it in the description for them, because that sounds like something I need to take. But I also know that magnesium helps you with your sleep process as well, so you've been sleeping better since you've been taking it.
Speaker 2:Yes, I have that and there's also I don't know the exact same brand, but there's also an herb that I take for sleep as well. That also helps. It has a little bit of melatonin in it, because I know sometimes when you take a lot of melatonin it can actually prevent you from sleeping. I learned that from a medical intuitive that I worked with years ago. She said you only want to take about a milligram of melatonin and any. For some people you could actually have the opposite effect and make you not sleep. I'm like well, that's helpful, since we're already producing melatonin at night.
Speaker 1:So that's good to know, because a lot of people they do go to melatonin and sometimes they take five to 10 milligrams just to help them sleep.
Speaker 2:And yeah, it is.
Speaker 1:And I've heard of that happening. Milligrams just to sleep and yeah it is, and I've heard of that happening. I don't take it because I'm afraid if I sleep too hard I'll probably like, not want, not feel rested in the morning, because you ever feel like whenever you get too much sleep you're still when you wake up you're groggy, you feel like you hadn't slept at all. I'm afraid that's what might happen if I ever do melatonin, because I do sleep pretty good. There's just I just have to go to bed at a certain time. If I go to bed late, after 12, I don't sleep at all.
Speaker 1:I'm like, I know, for the last three days I've like Saturday I was up till two 30 in the morning. Sunday was up to one in the morning. Last night I was up till 12. I'm like, okay, I got to get back, but last night I actually went to bed early. It's just that I was on my phone and I know better.
Speaker 2:I know better we all know better, don't we?
Speaker 1:So I have to be more disciplined, and that's the hardest things, for us too is when we are overcoming these challenges, such as anxiety, depression, stuff. We tend to medicate ourself mentally with our phones or with things that aren't good for our minds. My husband tells me all the time I really wish you wouldn't scroll so much. I'm like, yeah, me too, like it's something.
Speaker 2:I'm working on. I think. For me, recently it's been on my phone. It's not even on Instagram or Facebook or social media, it's just games that I play or Hulu or all these things. I'm like I need to put my phone down and I've been really working on this putting the phone down, grabbing a book, going for a walk, just doing something that does not involve my phone. But we're all guilty of it, right? It's so hard.
Speaker 1:It's just so easy. I was doing so good up until this past weekend, but I think what happens too is it might be a stress coping. Ism is what I've been analyzing it, because I feel like yesterday I did go to bed early because I knew I needed to, but I wanted to de-stress, so I just picked up my phone and sat there and just scrolled through anything my emails and my social media and scroll. I mean there was nothing even to look at.
Speaker 2:I just was looking at stuff and I think it's one of those stress mechanisms I agree with you because we, as humans, we don't like doing hard things and we don't like change, or we don't like creating habits because it's hard and so it's easier to pick up our phone versus oh, I'm going to take five minutes to meditate, I'm going to go outside for a walk, I'm going to go exercise, I'm going to go to a yoga class, I'm going to do some breath work, I'm going to put up some post-it notes with affirmations Like that stuff is hard for us, so it's much easier to go grab our phone because it's we're distracting ourselves, versus really going inside and noticing what our thoughts are doing or what our sensations in our bodies are doing. Yep, I'm still learning myself.
Speaker 1:I totally agree it is a struggle, but I'm working on it and I know that I'm going to conquer it. There's going to be moments, and here's the other thing is, I accept that there are going to be moments when I'm going to slip and I'm not going to beat myself up over it and I didn't beat myself up for what I did last night.
Speaker 1:I just woke up this morning going yeah girl, do better tonight, literally I have to tell myself that, like you, got to do better, and but I think for me, like I wanted to pick up a book, but picking up a book would have required me to think and I didn't want to think. Maybe I just I. Maybe I do that because I needed a mental break of not thinking, and it's a struggle, but we're going to get through it. Right, gabby, we're going to teach people to get through it.
Speaker 2:I think one of the biggest things that I learned from my current coach that I'm working with is she talks about self-compassion all the time and this notion of just being gentle and compassionate with ourselves. So, for example, when you did pick up your phone last night, it's you did a, you made a choice that in that moment was the best for you, and if we beat ourselves up over that, we're just making it harder for ourselves, right? Versus just saying like, maybe in this moment I need to unplug and this is my way of unplugging, and in a different moment, maybe my way of unplugging is going to be to pick up that book. Right, and we don't want to be nasty towards ourselves, because that doesn't help with how we feel or self-esteem or self-worth. We're humans and we're all just trying to get through the best that we can.
Speaker 1:That's exactly right, and I think when we tell ourselves some affirmations like hey, I know I can do better, and tomorrow I am going to do better and I'm going to, I'm going to push forwards and be my own cheerleader, because here's the thing If we're not cheering for ourselves, who is exactly? And so we have to be our a hundred percent cheerleader of ourselves.
Speaker 1:I told him I tell my friends all the time and I need to do this as well, but I'm actually pretty good at telling my affirmations on my own. But some of my friends are like, oh, when I wake up in the morning, I don't even want to think about anything or say anything. And, as I tell them, make sure you, when you wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and you say positive affirmations to yourself. I'm beautiful, I'm strong, I'm smart, I can conquer anything I do today. Today I'm going to finish all my chores. Today I'm going to be able to do what I do, my processes, or focus on that writing that I wanted to do, or whatever it is that you have on your agenda for that day. Speak out that you're going to accomplish it. And then I had somebody say to me it's sometimes hard to remember to do that, okay, then record yourself saying it and hit, play, go, take a shower.
Speaker 1:And if you can't say it to yourself, at least listen to yourself saying it.
Speaker 2:Yes, one of my favorite ways I actually have them right in front of me too is just post-it notes. I tell clients this all the time. I'm like, take post-it notes and write down whatever those affirmations are and stick them everywhere that you're going to see it in your bathroom, in your bedroom, right where you wake up, in the mirror, down where you brush your teeth, where you're getting your coffee, right Because that way it's right there, they're right in front of you. And the cool thing is is that you don't even have to read them because your subconscious is reading them as you're passing them. I mean, of course it's better to read them, because then you're getting more practice of practicing those affirmations, right, but just them being there. Or I've even told clients to take, like, not the Sharpie, but what you write on a whiteboard Can't think of the name right now.
Speaker 1:Dry erase.
Speaker 2:Dry erase marker and do it on your mirror. Or even lipstick. Go get Wet n Wild dollar lipstick if you want to make it cute and write it on your mirror, like there are ways of doing it where it's right there and it's easier than to practice them.
Speaker 1:I love that. I'm going to have to start doing a dry eraser one on my mirror. I think I need to do that. That's awesome because I have a mirror like a makeup mirror that has, like it, folds out so I can put my affirmations on the side, because I only look in the middle. That's like perfect. Yeah, I'm gonna go do that.
Speaker 2:So you're gonna see me this afternoon, like writing on my mirror, yeah, and the other thing about affirmations is also sometimes they can be difficult for people because our brain has kind of a bias. So if you're saying like I love myself and you really don't, your brain's gonna be like really, you, really, you really love yourself, right? So sometimes it's easier to start with like I'm open to believing that, and then you fill in the blank, because then your brain's like oh, that feels easier to believe than this thing, that your brain's like we really don't believe that right now, in this moment, right. So you can kind of like switch it up in that way If affirmations are difficult. In that way it's becoming easier to believe that and then you fill in the blank.
Speaker 1:That is so awesome. Thank you for sharing that, because that is super true, and I don't think people realize that sometimes, when you do affirmations, it feels like you're lying to yourself Exactly, and if you're actually saying something that's more realistic, it's easier to work through it. So, thank you, gabby, that's awesome.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so let's talk about what you've been doing with your work as far as helping women with their burnouts, their anxiety, the challenges that they're going through and I say their, but it's really not theirs, it's just things that they're dealing with, gabby and I were talking before we started hitting record about how I'm very big about not saying my anxiety or my depression and I slip up.
Speaker 1:Everybody slips up because we're so used to claiming things that we have. We're so used to claiming things that we have. But if we can get out of that mindset of saying my and stop owning it, it'll be easier for us to find a solution to it so we no longer have it. I know for me, when I stopped claiming and owning anxiety, depression, it was easier for me to heal through those things. And now, if they wear their ugly heads because, let's face it, they still do they're going to.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they still like peek their ugly heads around, especially when you're having weak moments in life, and the number one thing that helps you through that is first recognizing it.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Recognizing that it's there the second thing you do. What are you going to do about it? Are you going to allow it to take control of you? Are you going to take control of it? And number three, what's the solution? How?
Speaker 2:do you have a?
Speaker 1:solution to get rid of it. And so, gabby, you have your own tips as well, so let's hear them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I totally agree with you. I always tell clients like it's not your anxiety, right, it's not my. This it's just something that we're going through, it's our nervous system. It's just our nervous system that's dysregulated and there are ways to regulate it. And there are so many things that people can do with burnout. I think my example was a very extreme example of burnout and so, luckily, I was supported by my parents and can still live at home. But I know not everyone can do that, and so it doesn't have to be like people have to quit their jobs.
Speaker 2:I think there are these myths about burnout that like, oh, vacation is going to help. It certainly might for a week, but you're going to come back to work and then be having the same problems. Right, I don't necessarily have to quit your job. I have worked with so many women that I've helped them switch departments. Some of them have gotten a different job. Some of them have talked to their boss and set up some boundaries. Right, hey, I need to work less hours or I need to work from home. Whatever those things are. It's really starting to gain awareness of where in our life do we feel burnt out? Right, because burnout is more than just career right, it's a big part of it, but it could be your burnt out in your relationship, in your marriage, parenting, finances there's so many areas that I think we forget that we can be burnt out in. So gaining awareness is step number one getting a good inventory of where we feel that that sense of overwhelm and burnout.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. And then what is your? Give some ideas of how to combat those burnout moments.
Speaker 2:Yeah, burnout. Burnout is difficult because it's it really is kind of a longer process because it's our, it's our nervous is kind of a longer process because it's our, it's our nervous system kind of going into shutdown, right. So if we talk about fight, flight, freeze in our nervous system when we have a stressful situation going on, we either are gonna fight, flight or freeze. So burnout is is a state of freeze. It's actually not a state, right, because stress usually is about 20 to 30 minutes that we're supposed to experience stress. Burnout is a prolonged state of stress.
Speaker 2:Burnout happens for a very long time, over and over and over, without us doing anything about it, and so the primary way and how I work with people is again to get that inventory and start to make little changes in those areas that we feel burnt out in and then after that is when we really start to give tools of how to regulate the nervous system.
Speaker 2:So my favorite is like learning how to meditate, meditation, breath work, putting your hand on your heart and taking a couple of really deep, slow breaths and noticing where you feel your breath the most right, going outside for walks just different somatic practices, like what does it feel like to sit can even help in that moment right Feeling your feet on the ground, right Feeling what the back of your body feels like. Because I think sometimes we focus on the front of our body, right where we're breathing our chest and our belly but what about the back of our body? So different kind of grounding, somatic things, that's going to teach your brain and your nervous system that you're safe and okay, even though your environment might not feel that way.
Speaker 1:Right. That's really good things to share. The biggest thing that I love is putting your feet on the ground. When you go outside barefooted, your foot in the grass, and you just are present with yourself, with the earth, with your breath, with the breeze coming through your hair and you're just acknowledging your surroundings.
Speaker 1:that's huge and I know for me it's really helped me a lot. Yeah, I know there was a couple of times. I don't know if you've ever had these, but I have had these and thankfully there are few and far between. But have you ever been woken up in the middle of the night, full-fledged anxiety? Yep, so, so, yes, so, and it feels like you're dying, it feels like you're having a heart attack, and that's happened to me where I woke up in the middle of the night, like three, four in the morning, and I am sweating profusely and I don't sweat. I am not a person that sweats. I wish I mean normal thing. If you go running or you exercise, you're going to sweat then, but like I don't, just naturally, like I just don't sweat and so. But when I wake up and I am sweating profusely, I'm like oh my gosh, what is going?
Speaker 1:on what I have come to terms with. After this happened like three, four times, like the first time. It's very alarming. It literally you feel like you need to go to a hospital.
Speaker 2:You feel like you're going to die Really. Yeah, that's what it feels like Something is wrong.
Speaker 1:Your heart is racing really heavy, really high, your breath is short, the whole nine yards. This is what I did. I went outside because I knew grounding was super important. So I went outside and I took my bare bottom and I sat on the ground in the grass with my feet and my butt planted, and I put my arms over my knees and I sat in that position where I'm hugging, my knees with my butt and my feet planted, with my head down, and then I started focusing on my breathing, started focusing on the coolness of the air of the night, started focusing on where my feet were, where my butt was, and, jen, I, just once I started doing that I could.
Speaker 1:I started willing my heart rate to slow down. Okay, I'm okay, I'm not dying, everything's fine, my heart rate's going down, I feel fine, I'm breathing, the sweat stopping Like literally, I have to tell myself and walk myself through this yeah, and it had worked every single time. So it's, it's crazy how you can actually mentally help yourself. Come out of those states and you don't even know what, I don't even know why. It happens when you sleep Like you can wake up in the middle of the night with that happening.
Speaker 2:Have you ever figured that out? Your brain or subconscious probably thinks there's some kind of threat, because that's really what it is. It's just, it's a threat response, which are threats? These days aren't physical, like we're not getting attacked by lions anymore, they're all mental, usually emotional threats these days. Right, but what you did what a beautiful job of giving yourself messages of safety, which is all that we need to heal our nervous system is messages of safety is telling your brain and your nervous system, through thinking it and somatically, that I am okay, right. One of my favorite ways to do that is just putting my hand on my heart, which is one of the it's actually lights up the part of your brain is if you're getting a hug and just taking deep breaths and being like I am okay, I am safe, even if, or I am safe enough in this moment, I am safe enough in this moment and am safe enough in this moment and just taking deep breaths. Again, the quickest way to calm your nervous system is just taking slow deep breaths.
Speaker 2:And at first this is hard. I remember when I went to that clinic that I mentioned earlier in the podcast and the psychologist was teaching us how to meditate and he was teaching us that sensation of when you it's that. He was teaching us that sensation of when you exhale that kind of like that you feel your body kind of sinking. And I remember after a minute I was like, okay, we're done right, like we're not going to do this anymore, like we did a minute of it, like I'm fine, right, it's, we're good. And he kept going for 20 minutes and I thought I was going to crawl out of my skin Because, one, I was really anxious. Two, I was in a lot of pain. I'm like I'm supposed to be doing this, this is impossible. Until it took me a year and a half, twice a day every day, to learn how to meditate for 45 minutes and it saved and changed my life.
Speaker 1:Yes, I love that. Oh my gosh, gabby, this is awesome. I know my listeners are going to get so much out of this, especially those that need to hear these stories. You just reminded me of the times when I get up in the morning and have to go sit in my hammock outside and just get away from my phone, get away from everything and just close my eyes and just meditate on that moment, that, that, that presence that I'm in.
Speaker 1:My husband and I were having a conversation the other day and I was telling him that I'm trying to remember the conversation that led to what hit the statement that he made, but we were talking about how, when you look in your past, it could cause anxiety. When you look in the future, it can cause anxiety. When you look in the future, it can cause anxiety. But if you're in the present moment and just focus on that present moment, it can pull you out of both those areas and it can make you realize that at this moment. What can I do to help make the next minute better? Not the next year, not the next month, not the next week. What can I do to make the next minute better and when you can control that and to learn how to be in the moment. It's a huge game changer, right?
Speaker 2:I love that we're talking about this Because, in reality, we only have this exact moment. The future hasn't happened, the past has already happened. So we only have this moment and once we learn to be in it and again you're going to get distracted. When I first started meditating, my brain was like a ping pong ball. It kept back and forth, back and forth. It was all over the place, until I trained my brain to come back to my breath every single time, and it was frustrating as all get out because you can't focus, because you're so anxious and your body is giving you this sensation, your mind's giving you this thought. Until you train your brain to come back to your breath every time, and it gets easier and easier, and maybe you start off with 10 seconds and then you got up to 20 and then you get up to a minute and then it gets easier and easier to sit with whatever is happening in the moment and being okay with it.
Speaker 1:There is an app called Calm C-A-L-M. You know about that app I use it every day.
Speaker 2:I use it every day. I do the daily calm every morning and I use their sleep stories when I fall asleep at night. I love that app.
Speaker 1:We should definitely tell our listeners. I'm going to give you guys a link to calm, because calm has been huge on helping me learn how to do my breaths because, there's a breath portion of it where it teaches you to exhale for six seconds, then hold it, then inhale for six seconds and hold it and then you exhale slowly and hold it Like I never even knew that holding it was a huge thing in your breathing techniques until I got that app.
Speaker 1:And so I would have never been able to learn how to do proper breathing techniques if it wasn't for I got that app. And so I would have never been able to learn how to do proper breathing techniques if it wasn't for learning from that app. Yeah, the same thing for you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, I first started to meditate with that practice. I learned from the psychologist at the clinic, but then eventually I just got into the calm app and it's nice because they're guided meditations. It's hard to meditate on your own. It's nice when someone's telling you, okay, yeah, breathe, because that's box breathing, right Breathing in four or six holding and then breathing out. But there's so many different ways. She does body scans, she does muscle relaxation. There's so many different kinds of meditations on there. And a tip for your listeners usually around Black Friday they will do a sale where you I think it's probably $160 where you get lifetime access and it's beautiful. That's what I did. I just paid the like 160 or whatever it was, and I never have to pay for the Calm app ever again, especially because I use it every day. So it's worth it. It's usually around Black Friday when that happens.
Speaker 1:I did not even know that and now I'm going to wait, for I'm going to like, put that on my calendar to remind myself to look into that. But I also know there is a free version, you guys, so those of you who don't want to pay for it, there is a free version. It doesn't have as much as what you can get with the lifetime, because the lifetime literally is a lifesaver, but you do have a free version app as well.
Speaker 2:There's also other apps as well. There's insight timer that's also free and then there's a couple other ones. If you just look on your app store and type in meditation apps, there's so many now and you just pick one that that suits you, especially like with the voice, because I know sometimes people don't like certain voices, but you just have to pick one that you like and kind of go from there and experiment with it.
Speaker 1:I totally agree. Another thing that I started doing is my watch was one of those digital watches that kept track of my heartbeat and I literally had to stop wearing my watch. I still wear it every once in a while.
Speaker 1:Now that I'm calmer, I wear it but when I was going through the anxiety and I would watch my heart rate jump up to 120 beats per minute, or at one point there was one time it went up to 160. Like I was freaking out, and so I don't know if you guys realize that when you watch that because you see your heart rate so high, it'll actually amplify the anxiety that you're going through.
Speaker 1:And so if you have a watch that tells you what your heart rate is in the moment that you're dealing with an anxiety, get it off. Don't watch your heart rate. Focus not on your heart rate is in the moment that you're dealing with an anxiety, get it off. Don't watch your heart rate. Focus not on your heart rate, but focus on your breathing, focus on your grounding, focus on your meditation, because that's going to help you way more. When that time that happened, when my heart rate went up to 160, first 160, first thing, I was pissed off. I was really mad at the situation which amplified the anxiety within me.
Speaker 1:I went to go get in my car and I literally could feel my arms going numb, my face going numb, my breathing was off and I happened to look down at my watch and it said my heart rate was at 160. And I was alarmed and I had two choices I could either go to the hospital and probably make it worse, or I get out of my car and go into my house. And this is what I did. I got out of my car, I went into my house. I didn't care who I was mad at, I was knowing at that moment I needed to focus on me and I went into the house, I went face down onto my floor and this is the craziest thing, but I started to do pushups.
Speaker 1:Yep, Because what happened and I'm not saying pushups where I was the kind of pushups I did I got onto my all fours, my knees and my hands, and I just started pushing my body with my arms from the floor back and forth, back and forth, just so I would force myself to start breathing.
Speaker 2:Well, and also that's great, because you were angry, so you were pushing, you were put, you were using that energy, that angry energy, that fight response, to push Right. And that's a super helpful way, especially when there's anger or rage, is to do some sort of like. You can even go up against the wall and push, push into the wall very slowly to kind of discharge some of that energy.
Speaker 1:I didn't even know that was something I needed to do. It was just something I naturally did because all I knew is I needed to save myself and stop my heart rate. So I needed to calm down and I knew if I laid down, it would make it rate.
Speaker 1:So I needed to calm down and I knew if I laid down it would make it worse. So I had to do something to keep my brain occupied, to cause my heart rate to come down, and it worked. It was a matter of like 15 minutes, but it worked. And I will never forget that day. And then at that moment I was like dang, I'm magical, I can do anything. Now.
Speaker 2:The beautiful thing that you did was you listened to your body. I think people forget that we intuitively know what to do. A lot of the times, it's just our mind that gets in the way, but you listen to your body and what you needed, which is so cool. I wish more people can. This is the process of becoming more aware of ourselves, becoming aware of what does your body need in that moment, and if you allow your body to answer, it's going to give you the best thing it needs in that moment.
Speaker 1:I a hundred percent agree. We're actually running out of time. I just looked at the time, so I want to talk about your website. You have a so Gabby Winneck coaching. So that's G-A-B-B-Y-W-N-E-K coachingcom. Gabby, what will my listeners see on your website?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it's really just all my services that I offer, my coaching services, and there's an about me. So you get to really get an in-depth of my story even more than what we talked about today, and then how to work with me. So you get to really get an in-depth of my story even more than what we talked about today, and then how to work with me. What do I offer in my program? What are the specific steps that I take people through in order to really help with the burnout and give them their own unique formula for tools and techniques to really regulate the nervous system and decrease the anxiety that people are going to use really for the nervous system and decrease the anxiety that people are going to use really for the rest of their lives.
Speaker 1:That is so beautiful. Gabby, you are a breath of fresh air. I love the fact that you've used your personal experience to help other people with challenges they've had. Where are you at now with your mental health and the struggle of burnout and anxiety?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I created my coaching business because I knew that there had to be a better way of helping people without seeing 30 clients a week, and so my coaching business is that way of helping people and doing. What I think I was set on this planet to do is to help people just in a different way. And because I've taken so much time to really work on my anxiety and my burnout and my pain I am probably 80%, 85, 90% there and I'm still working on my own, on my own things as well, and I'm really taking the time to take care of myself in order to take care of other clients, which I wasn't doing before.
Speaker 1:And that is amazing. So you've taken all of the information that you learned through college, through your experiences of working with clients, and you've been able to develop something that's much bigger and greater to helping people at your own pace, but also showing them and look, you can do it, and they can do it too, exactly.
Speaker 2:That's exactly it, because I've had my coaches all healed from chronic pain. So if they can do it, I can too. So if people feel burnt out or anxious, again, I had a coach that told me, she goes, you have two arms. And I'm like, yeah, she goes that you have two legs. I'm like, yeah, she goes. Well, then, you're not special, you can heal just like everyone else. And I'm like, well, that makes sense, doesn't it Right? We're not. We are special in our own ways and we also can heal. If other people can do it, so can we.
Speaker 1:I'm the type of person that I would rather follow somebody who has experienced it themselves and be able to help me walk through what it is that they were able to walk through, so that I can heal I. It's all about going after somebody who has experience, opposed to somebody who just learned from a book Exactly. It's a completely different experience of being with somebody that has already gone through it, because they understand.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they understand. They know when you're having your resistant moments. They can walk you through those resistant moments because they've already walked that path Exactly.
Speaker 2:I love that.
Speaker 1:And Gabby, you are the epitome of somebody who's experienced, and yet you have this beautiful smile on your face and willing to take those experiences to help others, and I thank you so much for sharing everything with us.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much. I really truly appreciate you holding this space for us and for your listeners.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely so. You guys go to her website and we look forward to hearing more from Gabby in the future. Have a nice day.